I would like to say it was and is a whirlwind of emotions that takes me on a rollercoaster every given day. But it’s not. Or rather a kind of hot or cold effect that leaves me exhausted. It’s not that either.
Rather it’s a silent battle I fight everyday with no end in sight. It’s not the best thing in the world but not the worst either. It doesn’t leave me disillusioned with life or on the brink of suicide. It just gives me a dull frustration that I know will pass, eventually.
On a good day.
But when the stars are in disarray and nothing is going my way. I am left with my thoughts. Which in turn leaves me distraught. Dull frustration now turned into full blown anguish and hatred. Hatred at everything. Irritability is the name of the game and boy am I playing.
I would like to say it gets better as the seconds turn into minutes, the minutes into hours, the hours into days etc.
But I won’t. Because I don’t know yet.
What I do know is to accept it and move on with life because this is my kind of normal .